It's easy, isn't it? Easy to doodle up a few snug looking critters in hats and scarves, painting smiles on their faces in an attempt to partake in the regular glee-ridden festivities throughout December, but, honestly, I'm struggling this year to feel even a little bit festive, or happy, excited or positive about Christmas at all.
We started December with a death as my Uncle passed away after almost 2 months in intensive care after a brain haemorrhage that occurred shortly before my Nan's funeral. Deaths are unpleasant whenever they occur, but after losing another Uncle and my Nan earlier in the year it really was just another kick to our already down family. With lots to think about, people to miss and ridiculous retail working hours, Christmas just isn't feeling like Christmas at all this year (not to mention the incredibly mild weather we're also having at the moment, what's all that about?)
At the moment I'm really looking forward to the New Year. I know the 'New Year, New Me' sentiment is an incredibly lame one, but with a new job and a completely new change of scenery I can't help but think that it'll be the perfect time to move on with life and look forward to new beginnings. While I'm eager to get on with what's essentially the beginning of the rest of my life (lame, I know,) I'm also a tad nervous and apprehensive.
After a couple of stressful weeks trying to sort out accommodation in London, I finally found a flat with three third year university students to stay in. While everything will probably work out ok, I'm anxious about my first few weeks in London. Will I get on with my flatmates? Will I be lonely? Will I settle into my job ok? Will I have enough money to live on every week from my job? There are lots of niggling things that I'm sure will all work out fine, but for now they're at the forefront of my mind, which again makes it harder to settle into a relaxed, festive spirit when I have arrangements to make and belongings to be packing up.
I'm not sure why I felt the need to check in and write up a blog post, but sometimes taking the time to think things through and type them out helps to clear your mind a little. Christmas is lacking any magic for me and my family this year, as I'm sure it is for many other individuals and families, too. I suppose the bottom line is me asking you to spare a little thought for all the Scrooges you encounter throughout the festive period; sometimes they have a good reason for just not being in the mood.