this week's been bittersweet to say the least. i find it incredible how so much can be going right for a person, but one little thing can come along and try its best to diminish your happiness/success etc. but hey, i guess it's all character building or some other malarkey. moving along, on thursday evening i had a brief moment of craziness, running around my house squealing as i received an email from a studio i'd applied to for potential work experience, and much to my delight i've been offered a placement! so come the second week of june i'll be heading off to bradford to live in a house for a couple of weeks with a few other creatives while spending my time learning how creative studios actually work. i'm finding it really hard at the minute to contain my excitement and find myself beaming ridiculously when talking or thinking about it, occasionally followed by squeals and rolling around in sheer delight. i just can't put into words how excited i am to get stuck in and enjoy working on projects that suit my ambitions while learning from such a talented and successful bunch of people. words fail me, they really do. i am so beyond pleased.
2014 has gotten off to a fantastic start and i can't quite believe my luck. well, part luck, part dedication and graft, but i'm doing well at uni, the support given by the tutors is fantastic and i'm loving how second year's panning out now i'm beginning to have the chance to explore my interests and be reaping the benefits of working on projects that i can really put my heart into. i feel like i've gotten to a point where i can finally say i'm happy with myself. i've realised that i'm not unintelligent, i'm not useless or worthless and that with hard work and passion i can probably get what i want out of life. it's so liberating to finally like and be supportive of myself after spending so long doubting any talent or worth i had, and to realise that my worth is something i'm in charge of, not something that i have to put in someone else's hands. i don't know, bad things have happened and will continue to happen, but i feel like i've kind of woken up and climbed out of my little hole of self loathing and it all feels nice. heck, i just feel a lot more nowadays and i'm so much more susceptible to pretty much everything. it feels good, really good. i'm pretty bloody happy nowadays.