well, this sunday evening i can share a positive and a negative with you. the positive is that, god damn it, i've actually managed to grow my fringe out and am more than satisfied with how it's looking! a strange positive you might think, but for the last two/three years i've attempted to grow it out, got so far and found to too awkward to deal with before giving in and cutting my fringe back in, so altogether it's a pretty good personal achievement of mine, hell yeah.
the negative is that i'm feeling just as lost in regards to my self promotion work as i did last night. i've done a bit of doodling throughout the day and have resolved the issue somewhat with a bit of an idea about where i should attempt to push myself next, but i still just feel so horribly disconnected from it and fear that because self promotion is the brief that runs throughout the year at the back of other projects it'll just become neglected throughout the year and then rushed in the final couple of months and just end up being an altogether shitty module, which i really can't afford if i want to go for a first overall. i know, i know, grades aren't everything but i know i can achieve a first, so why the hell not try?
while i'm finding myself unenthused by a self promotion module, i'm really looking forward to getting my teeth sunk into the macmillan competition again this year. over the summer i conjured up some ideas for a picture book which tackles my thoughts and feelings in regards to my new york visit, and while i'm thinking visually i might struggle with producing the artwork for the book, i know i can have so much fun with my main character, storyline and the characters my protagonist will bump into along the way. this enthusiasm is encouraging for me because it reminds me that my mojo hasn't been lost altogether, it's just been a little dampened as of late.
huh, i don't really know. it's not just my work i'm feeling a little disconnected from, but life in general, really. i don't much feel like myself recently and don't really have the get up and go to do much, whether it's uni work, personal work, blogging or working out, and it's no good for me at all. it's weird, i tend to get like this towards the end of summer/beginning of autumn every year so maybe for the sake of my mental state it makes sense to flee somewhere with a pleasant temperature all year round if and when it becomes a possibility for me. it's bloody tough putting up with yourself at times, ain't it?